My dearest Alex,

Did you think that it was over? That, when the fire came, all your deepest nightmares came to a head and blew away like smoke on the breeze? Think again, lover.

Remember that I know you like nobody else knows you. I see you in a way that you can’t even see yourself. I am your shadow on the street; I’m the stray light that catches your eye when you turn your head just-so under the glare of the morning sunlight. I’m with you when you eat, sleep, bathe, laugh, or cry. (You need to stop crying, Alex. I’m going to change all that; don’t you worry.)

I wish you could envision the life we’re going to have together. Where I’m taking you, there will be no more city filth or soul-sucking intruders in our love story. You don’t need any of them, my beautiful boy. You don’t need family or friends. Especially not Tom—you definitely don’t need him.

This time around, Alex, I am telling my story. I won’t be misunderstood any longer. If they all understand the pureness of my love and what I was willing to do to make you mine, maybe they would stop vilifying me. I’m not the bad guy, after all. I may have killed, but who wouldn’t end a life to build the life of their dreams with the most perfect angel that God ever created? I may have committed unspeakable violations, but every heinous act I did was to get closer to you. To keep you safe. I would do anything for you. Lie, steal, cheat … I would die a thousand deaths to see you smile.

After all, what’s love without a little pain?

Eternally yours,

X

What I've Tasted of Desire is a terrifying companion novel to Those Who Favor Fire. Listeners should take note of graphic and heinous content and are encouraged to listen to the full list of trigger warnings in the book's foreword. This title is intended for listeners 18 years and older. Discretion is advised.