What you’re thinking at work. What you actually say. And everything in between.

Every workplace has those moments.

The meeting that should have been an email. The “quick chat” that appears at 4: 45 on a Friday. The email that says “Let’s circle back” when everyone knows nobody is circling anywhere. The performance review where “communication” somehow becomes your growth area for the fourth year in a row.

And then there are the things you really want to say.

Things I Wish I Could Say at Work is a hilarious collection of workplace observations, brutally honest thoughts, corporate translations, and the sentences every professional has composed in their head—but wisely kept behind their teeth.

From impossible deadlines and passive-aggressive emails to office small talk, group chats, HR jargon, remote-work chaos, break-room politics, and the mysterious colleague who replies to emails at 11 PM, this book takes aim at the wonderfully absurd language and rituals of modern working life.

Inside you'll find:

• The things employees wish they could say in meetings
• Corporate jargon translated into plain English
• The unspoken meaning behind workplace emails
• The strange psychology of bosses and performance reviews
• Office survival observations everyone can relate to
• Remote-work and group-chat frustrations
• Sharp one-liners for the situations that make you quietly question your career choices

This isn't a guide to confronting your boss. It's the opposite.

It's the place where you can finally say the thing without actually saying the thing.

Because apparently, HR has rules.