I’m the oldest virgin in major league baseball. And I’m in love with a woman who’s about to marry someone else.

Listen. It’s not like I planned to still be a virgin at twenty-eight. Or to fall in love with the team trainer, who apparently would rather date a guy who wears polo shirts instead of baseball pants.

But life doesn’t always go according to plan.

When I first laid eyes on Lark Miller, I knew she was something special. Unfortunately, so did her boyfriend.

For years I kept my feelings hidden. I accepted my role as best guy friend, and focused on my career. My priority needs to be securing another contract with the Vancouver Tridents so I can help my parents retire. I can’t afford any distractions.

But then the day comes that Lark shows up at my door, and tells me she’s ended her engagement. Not only that, but she’s broken up with polo shirt guy.

And then she kisses me.

My fantasy becomes my reality. Lark wants me. Me. She’s perfect, we’re perfect, everything is perfect. I’ve got the woman of my dreams, and the best part is she understands how important baseball has to be for me right now.

But remember what I said about life not going according to plan?

My name is Dan “Monty” Montgomery: Formerly the oldest virgin in baseball, and now the newest expectant father.