The lure of the unavailable man is a mystery to many. Why is she wasting her time? But for many others, it is a deep-seated pattern. Time and again, they fall for someone who for one reason or another will never return their feelings. The object of their affection may be emotionally unavailable, married, or even pathologically cruel. The woman who routinely finds herself in this situation suffers mightily, feeling rejected, unloved, undesirable. She wonders what is wrong with her.

With empathy and compassion, Dr. Marni Feuerman helps women see their situations clearly, understand the historical, emotional, and psychological reasons behind their actions, and most importantly, make better choices for themselves. Feuerman unpacks the cliche about not being able to control the other's behavior, only one's own, with clear exercises and action steps.

While the emphasis is on understanding and changing one's own behavior, profiles of the reliably unreliable/unavailable are given to make "red flags" undeniable. And while the subject of unfulfilling relationships is not a happy one, Feuerman has positive messages for sufferers. Initially painful insights breed clarity and confidence. The end of a destructive relationship clears the way for a positive one. And being "in love" means not just loving, but being loved.