You were told Dostoevsky would change your life. Nobody mentioned it would change it for the worse.

Someone recommended Crime and Punishment. Maybe it was a professor. Maybe it was that person at the coffee shop who looked very thoughtful. Maybe you just wanted to seem interesting at parties. Whatever the reason, you're now 200 pages into a Russian novel where a sweaty man has a theory about Napoleon, and you're starting to suspect you've made a terrible mistake.

Welcome. You're in the right place.

Notes from Underground (and Other Places Russians Suffer) is your irreverent, hilarious, and slightly mean survival guide to one of literature's most celebrated—and most punishing—authors. From the bitter basement-dweller who invented the internet troll 150 years early, to the saintly prince who proves that being too good for this world means the world will destroy you, this book walks you through Dostoevsky's greatest hits with the wit, sarcasm, and psychological insight you need to survive.

Inside, you'll find:

• A biography of Dostoevsky that explains why he was Like That (spoiler: mock executions, Siberian prison camps, and a gambling addiction that would make Vegas weep)
• Chapter-by-chapter survival guides to Notes from Underground, Crime and Punishment, The Idiot, Demons, and The Brothers Karamazov
• A field guide to spotting Dostoevsky character types in the wild (and in your own life)
• The philosophy, translated for people who don't read philosophy
• How to talk about Dostoevsky at parties without embarrassing yourself
• A drinking game that may kill you
• And the answer to the question you've been asking since page one: Was any of this worth it?