Have you ever ran the "egg and spoon race" and wondered why it’s not an Olympic sport? Have you ever wondered exactly what weather the "all-weather" pitch was designed for? Have you ever wished that the Nursery Rhyme "Humpty Dumpty" had a happier ending? Then Playground Games: An Alternative Guide to the Games We Played as Children has the answers.

The book explores the possible origins of the world’s best known playground games such as Hot Lava (where the players will put more effort into throwing each other down the hill than they will into any other aspect of their lives), Rounders (in the moment between the bat striking the ball and the player reaching first bay, hell literally breaks loose) and Tag (which is the only time you'll hear the phrase "no returnsies"). There are guides to the games played in P.E. and Sports day along with sections dedicated to other aspects of school life such as "alternative uses for a protractor" and a collection of "educationally correct" nursery rhymes such as Vertically challenged Jack Horner, Mary had a free-range lamb, and Baa Baa rainbow sheep.

Also included are quizzes to help you find out if you’re smarter than a nine and a half year old, if you were a bully at school, and if you’d pass the theory part of the cycling proficiency test (should one exist). If you’ve ever wondered what cavemen used in a game of rock, paper, scissors before paper and scissors were invented or whether it’s best to be the "cops" or the "robbers" in a game of "cops and robbers", then this is the book you've been looking for.