•The characters and places in this book are purely non-coincidental. If anyone should take offence in the forthcoming tale please contact me and I will gladly leave the country.

•This book is dedicated to all those who take the time to read it, thank you.

•SQUELCH A STORY BY CHARLIE BROOM.WELCOME TO TIC-TAC-TOE

The land of Tic-Tac-Toe is to the left of your vision it is always there yet if you blink you will miss it. Fortunately I have had a bump on the head, a prerequisite for multiple journeys to this mixed up gibberish of a place. Our hero Squelch is of good and nearly good stock, the unlikely outcome of a union between a well known stolen racehorse and that woman with all the snakes on her head. Squelch is unorthodox in actual fact he has no religion, he has five legs, two arms, banana skin, removable orange eyes and pink / sky blue candyfloss hair, which people are always helping themselves to. Pretty average looking when all is said and done.

For work he keeps himself busy as a self- employed hurdler. Often winning although either very drunk or very silly people back him. Yes I have won a few pound on him, enabling me to spend my life writing. In his spare time Squelch likes to play the amateur detective, finding lost socks, marbles, chasing the culprits who knocked down ginger, solving the murder in the dark, and calling out the blind mans bluff.

Today is like any other the blue sun rises, grumpily as usual, she is not a morning person and shines her beautiful rainbow filed hues over the land. If she decided not to get up then everywhere would be dreary and grey, not much fun at all, so it has been decided that when she is altogether too cross, usually at the end of the day, the people would put a nice cool blanket on her and let her rest. After all hanging around all day is no good for anyone, so there is no surprise that she has a moody temperament. Squelch trots out of his bed, then over to his patio sugar-glass doors.