The truth about conflict with difficult people

I’ve discovered a simple way to deal with difficult people. It doesn’t require a massive conflict or confrontation. All you need is clear expectations to see results! Because, contrary to popular belief, conflict is the last step for successfully dealing with a difficult person. By clarifying or changing expectations and picking small battles without any surprises, the difficult people in your life will step up or step out within four weeks (without any one-off massive battles where everyone loses!). If you’re thinking, “But I don’t have enough confidence to have conflict with this difficult person”, I’ve created three stages to dealing with difficult people that you can start implementing right away:

How clear are your expectations? Remember when that person started in your organization or came into your life? How clearly did you lay out your expectations for them? Most leaders only score a 5/10 in stage one, which explains why you’re finding it so hard to deal with that difficult person!

Have a crucial conversation to reclarify or change expectations. You’re stressed about a big fallout, conflict, or confrontation where everyone loses. Forget that. Instead, I’ll show you how to have a crucial conversation where you reclarify or change expectations so that everyone wins. By clarifying or changing expectations with the difficult person, you’re setting a foundation to keep them accountable for their behavior moving forward.

I’ll explain the other strategy and everything else you need to know about dealing with difficult people even if you hate conflict in my new book, Step Up or Step Out.