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The Formula of Desire
What Brings Us Together and Drives Us Apart, and the Science of Connection
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The Formula of Desire
Compra ahora por 15,99 €
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Narrado por:
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Otto Marley
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De:
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Anna Elton PhD
What if the secret to a stronger, more passionate relationship could be broken down into clear, actionable steps?
“An extraordinary introduction to key elements of human sexuality and biological attraction, and an informative and fascinating read from start to finish.”—Midwest Book Review
In The Formula of Desire, licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist Dr. Anna Elton reframes desire as a dynamic, relational process shaped by attention, emotional safety, stress, and everyday interaction—not chemistry alone. Drawing on neuroscience, attachment theory, and decades of clinical experience, the book shows why desire often fades in long-term relationships even when love remains, and what couples can do about it.
At the center of the book is the Relational Desire Formula, a practical framework that explains how awareness, emotional connection, affectionate expression, and reciprocal attraction support desire, while stress, unmet needs, and emotional withdrawal weaken it. An accompanying self-assessment translates these patterns into a relational desire score, offering a clear snapshot of relationship health and helping couples see where connection is strong and where it needs attention.
Through research, clinical stories, and structured exercises, The Formula of Desire explores:
- Why attraction and desire change over time and why that’s normal
- How stress, routine, and emotional labor retrain the brain away from intimacy
- The difference between being physically present and emotionally available
- How to navigate conflict using effective communication
- How to repair without escalation, shutdown, or loss of emotional and erotic connection
- What desire equilibrium is and how restoring balance revives intimacy
- How desire can redirect toward work, fantasy, or other people without conscious intent
- What actually helps intimacy return by creating the conditions for desire to re-emerge naturally
The book offers a clear framework for understanding relationship shifts, improving communication, and restoring connection, intimacy, and desire through intentional change.
For fans of Mating in Captivity, The Five Love Languages, and Hold Me Tight.
©2026 Anna Elton (P)2026 New Harbinger PublicationsReseñas de la crítica
“Dr. Anna Elton’s book,The Formula of Desire, offers us a compelling and intriguing analysis of the social construction of desire. She thoughtfully engages the reader by offering several scenarios that depict real life experiences of couples negotiating desire, how emotional distance is navigated, the possibility of fighting fair, and ways we can explore the continuum of play. The book is insightful, nuanced, refreshing, and a must-have for marriage, family, and sexuality therapists and their clients.”—James C. Wadley, PhD, professor in the Human Services Department at Lincoln University and editor-in-chief of the Journal of Black Sexuality and Relationships
“Every couple will face questions about desire at some point, but few know how to respond to them effectively. Dr. Anna Elton offers a clear and practical path forward. This is a book that couples and clinicians can return to again and again.”—Barry McCarthy, PhD, emeritus professor of psychology at American University and diplomate in clinical psychology and sex therapy
“Desire is one of the most powerful human impulses. Yet it’s often misunderstood, especially in long-term relationships. In The Formula of Desire, Anna Elton does something rare: rather than just giving advice, she explains the deeper mechanisms behind attraction and intimacy. Drawing on extensive scientific research, clinical insight, and real-world stories, the book gives readers a genuinely clearer picture of their own patterns, along with practical ways to shift them. It’s this combination of insight and application that makes the book so effective.”—Alex Korb, PhD, neuroscientist, coach, and bestselling author of The Upward Spiral
