Your parents are lying bags of dicks. Everything in the woods: wolves, bears, and squirrels, aren’t just trying to eat you. It would be nice if they were, but there are other sphincter tightening horrors living in the woods that just want to be inside you: your body, that is.

The Aurora Wasteland exists, let's get that out of the way right now. What matters more is that it’s larger and more prominent than anyone could have known. Spread across counties, countries, and notches...or whatever you want to call them. It’s everywhere, even in the most invasive places your grandmother would never tell you about. The strange and weird is like sand in your underpants.

Something is causing hikers to vanish on Mount Tekarra, which just so happens to be situated in the heart of the Brightness Falls National Park, maybe you’ve heard of it? It’s ok if you haven’t, it’s not really a come visit and expect to leave still living type of place.

Logan, Gabe, Monahan, and Jeff, having survived the cornfield maze creature, aren’t really talking about what happened to them. Mostly because they simply don’t understand it all. Since the merge, things have only gotten more confusing and weird. None of them are living the lives they remember, except they are…make sense? Because it really doesn’t to them.

Memories of their two lives continue to blend as each of them struggles to figure out who they are, what they are, and who they are…wait, did I say that already? Doesn’t matter, because the Aurora Wasteland isn’t giving them time to take things slow. Monahan’s co-worker Simone just so happens to be one of those missing hikers. You know, the ones from a few paragraphs up? With her newfound connection and lady boner for the Aurora Wasteland, Monahan sets out to find her co-worker while dragging her reluctant, apparent friends behind her.

As the book tethered makes its way through the group, a second book by the so-called discoverer of The Aurora Wasteland emerges. One that has been around for years, and has molded the lives of the team more than they know.

It’s ok to be confused and scared, but I should warn you that if you’re listening to this, then it’s already too late. The Aurora Wasteland has you. It knows you. There is no escape. Trust me, it’s better you just figure out what’s going on, for your own sake and sanity.