The funniest philosophy book you'll ever listen to—and the most devastating.

For 2,500 years, Western civilization's brightest minds have been having spectacularly terrible ideas and convincing everyone else they're profound wisdom. From Plato's reality-denying Forms to postmodernism's truth-denying everything, philosophers have turned the simple act of being human into an impossibly complicated nightmare of bad theories and worse consequences.

This book is your hilarious, savage, and surprisingly educational tour through philosophy's greatest disasters:

• Why Plato thought your entire life was fake (and why tech bros still believe him)
• How Descartes split humans into ghosts driving meat robots
• Why Kant's moral system would let Nazis murder your family rather than tell a lie
• How Marx explained all of history through economics while mooching off his capitalist friend
• Why philosophers convinced themselves that nothing matters while still caring very much about tenure

With biting wit and savage humor, this book exposes the elaborate nonsense that passes for profound wisdom in philosophy departments worldwide. You'll learn to spot bad ideas before they ruin your worldview, understand why smart people believe stupid things, and discover why that one philosophy major at every party is always so insufferable.

Perfect for:

• Students suffering through Philosophy 101
• Anyone who's ever wondered if philosophers are just making it up
• People who suspect their existential crisis was manufactured by dead Europeans
• Those who like their enlightenment with a side of entertainment
• Anyone who's ever thought "this makes no sense" while reading philosophy (you were right)

Warning: This book may cause uncontrollable eye-rolling at philosophy majors, clarity of thought, and the sudden ability to spot intellectual BS from across a crowded room.