Do you ever look around at other people in relationships and wonder "What do they know that I don't know? Exactly what is it I'm not doing right?"

Or maybe, you're in a relationship with someone whose heart is in the right place, but they're pretty inept at what love really looks like in daily life, and you've been stumped wondering "How do I explain to them what's missing?"

Many people arrive at adulthood after growing up in homes where love wasn't modeled very well. Some of them are pretty much in the dark about what love looks like in action, or they're following clues that have pointed them in wrong directions. In You Matter to Me: The Unvarnished Truth About Love, author Carol J. Sherman takes us back to the very basics about love, showing us that tender-hearted feelings only have staying power when coupled with an attitude of devotion and ongoing actions that help the loved one thrive.

Grounded in Erik Erikson's insights into the components of a resilient self, she asserts that genuine love helps a loved one thrive in very identifiable ways. Then, using real-life examples from the lives of her students and clients, she gives us a simple and easy-to-remember framework of actions to guide us in helping it happen.

Carol J. Sherman, PhD, earned her doctorate in religion and psychology from the University of Chicago. She has been a therapist for over 35 years and has taught a class on love at Husson University. She and her husband Bob have two adult sons and live in Bangor, Maine.