Previously published as Just Thoughts...On Addiction & Recovery by Ralph Solli Jr.

"It ain't all about you—so you can relax now." Those words should be a relief to hear. The weight of the planet isn't your responsibility to carry. Shocking though, to a self-centered person. They believe and behave as if it is—it must be—all about them. The world revolves, and they're at the center. A recipe for stress. My own "addiction to self" kept me trapped in anxiety, insecurity—the need to control everything. But I complicated everything, repeated mistakes. Felt everything. Stressed. Can you relate? Do you easily stress yourself out and complicate things? Struggle "just letting it be"? Get involved where it’s none of your business? Stress out other people? How do you deal with stress? Grind it out? Effortlessly? Distraction—addiction?

If so, I invite you to the book. Except "effortlessly", I relate. A wound-up existence led me to addiction—seeking relief in drugs. Substances took away my tension—self-doubt, concern of what others thought. Until they didn't work anymore.

After years of drug use, I found recovery. Told "addiction is not a drug", recovery wouldn't be simply "staying clean" from chemicals. My skewed perceptions and damaging behaviors—beyond using drugs—needed to change. Ironically, I've learned most about myself through other people: ''Ralph: No one cares more than you do—about how perfect or flawed you are, what you 'have'. Sorry—you're just not that important.” Just what I needed to hear.

Throughout recovery, whenever I’d heard something valuable, I'd write the gist on a scrap of paper. The book is a compilation of 250 such discussions—difficult lessons I've learned. Everyday "life" situations, relatable to anyone—whether they struggle with addiction or not: romantic relationships, self-esteem, self-centeredness, guilt, not letting go, dealing with other people.

I invite you into these conversations. So you may live a less stressed, more relaxed life.