Resultados narrador por "Jessica Almasy" en Todas las categorias

The rich bloodsuckers don’t want to pay taxes. Too bad, so sad. They’re the least of my problems right now. At the wise suggestion of my beloved mate, I indulge in a little retail therapy so I don’t dismember the pissed-off crew of greedy Vamps who don’t want to pay their fair share. How could a trip to the happiest place on earth a.k.a. Target go wrong? Let me count the ways....

Katie has reached the fifth floor of the dungeon and met with the ruler of the Abyss, where she learned that her previous actions have rendered her fetch quest uncompletable. Rather than give in to despair, she’s decided on a new quest: to escape the dungeon she’s trapped in and defeat the demon lord herself. With her body already warped into something inhuman, gaining a third class that has some rather detrimental effects on the fabric of reality doesn’t help her stay grounded. It does, however, grant her even more power. Will there be anything in the real world capable of standing up to her?

Katie has successfully reached the third floor of the dungeon in which she accidentally stranded herself, but with enemies both ahead and behind her, she’s having to fight hard for every step she takes. Still, at least she finally found an ally, even if that ally was her.

With a show to produce and my career as an actress on the line, I really don’t have time to die—especially violently. However, while that might not be on my agenda, it seems to be on other’s. Awesome. Instead of acting in my latest endeavor, I’m playing the real-life role of Reluctant Demon Who Has To Save The World—or at the very least, the hot hero.

Oh great hero! The evil Demon Lord has once again arisen to terrorise our lands, and we have summoned you to save our people! No, we don't want you to fight the demon lord! Of course not; we're the good guys! What sort of good guys kidnap people from other worlds and force them to take part in wars that have nothing to do with them? That would just be plain evil! We'd be no better than the demons!

Two years have passed since Vita was arrested by the Inquisition, and her time in prison has not been kind to her. As Penelope Vesuvius plots a grand breakout while currying favor with the government, the monstrous Lark joins the Church in search of redemption. A conflict between the most powerful forces in Valka is set to simmer, and it's only a matter of time before it boils over...

Dorky, socially awkward entomology student Evelyn wakes up one morning to find herself as some sort of alien-human hybrid trapped on an unknown planet. Once the initial panic winds down, she quickly learns she's capable of producing more of herself: additional bodies all sharing one mind. Being well-versed in sci-fi tropes, she quickly resolves to not devour the planet and turn into an unflinching biological armada, and instead uses her new powers to try and help as many people as possible. Unfortunately, it turns out that helping people is often very, very difficult. 

Just when I thought life might be getting back to normal—normal being a relative word—I couldn’t have been more wrong. Marriage proposal from the Grim Reaper? Yes. Beautiful healthy baby? Yes. Friends and family safe? Yes. Ghost of my worst enemy sitting on my front porch? OMG. Yep. With the ghostly world imploding around me, I’m going to need more than superglue to repair it. 

What does a forty-year-old former child star do when she finds out she’s a Demon? A sitcom, of course. Age is just a number unless you’re an actress of a certain age trying to make a comeback in La La Land. Back in the day, I was the child star of the hit show Camp Bites. Today, I’m still living it down.After a disastrous soap opera audition and getting fired from a TV show for not having a bodacious enough backside, one would think I’d be smart enough to go into real estate. Nope. Just found out from the rudest, meanest, and hottest guy alive that I’m a Demon.

Not sure who I screwed over in a past life to end up with a heinous mother-in-law who thinks my wedding is for her. If I didn’t love Chance more than myself, I’d rethink the entire hot mess. Problem: I’ve been instructed to show up in Hell on my wedding day with six bridesmaids. I have two friends in total. Problem solved: Go to a supernatural plasticware party at the community center and blackmail a few gals into being bridesmaids. New problem: The gals I coerced bring their own brand of crazy to the party. Whatever. Chance is the demon of my dreams. He loves me, fur and all.

Midlife is sheer madness, and the facts of midlife are not taught in school. Unfortunately, some lessons are hellishly hard to learn. I thought I had it figured out. I was wrong. Proving I’m the Angel of Mercy is turning into a shitshow of epic proportions. Not too long ago, I was a 40-year-old gal with a stable and boring life ahead of me. Now? Not so much. I have celestial siblings who are no walk in the park. Their decisions can destroy my future. And of course, my predecessor has given me a month to do the impossible or I’ll lose everything that means anything to me.

While she fights fellow horrors outside the city's walls, her family suffers threats from within them. Yet surely there's no problem power can't solve...and if there's one thing eating souls is good for, it's power.

Casting necromancy without ever learning how to isn't supposed to be possible. A starving orphan girl named Vita is somehow managing it anyway, and she's not sure if this is going to be the solution to her life's problems or a horrifying, spiraling mess of problems she can hardly conceive.

With a new job I didn’t apply for and an extended family I didn’t know I had - midlife has become somewhat problematic. Gluing ghosts back together is easy compared to my new celestial occupation. The Grim Reaper wants to put a ring on it. Tim wants to be a father. Candy Vargo has lost her damn mind, and Jennifer thinks we’re all sparkly vampires. I’ve been given an impossible task with catastrophic consequences for failure, but it wouldn’t be my midlife without another crisis.

Imagine your least favorite class from school. The one you hate showing up to because you can’t stand the teacher - and maybe the feeling is mutual, even though they can’t admit it. You hate the subject, and you’re miserable the entire period, every day, every second. None of your friends are there, and even if they are, you can’t hang with them. You just sit and do your work. No talking. No bathroom breaks. Now, imagine that the class has several aggressively strict teachers, and those teachers have superpowers. In fact, they’re the most powerful people on the planet.

Never in my 40 years did I think my new normal would be gluing body parts back onto ghosts and hosting a houseful of dead squatters. Thank God for superglue and a strong stomach. Never thought I’d date the Grim Reaper and that I would be the one to blow it. I mean, how idiotic does one have to be to get dumped by a dude who lives in Hell? Going about business as usual is not usual in any way. No one is who they seem to be...and to be honest, neither am I. What I’d known to be true has turned out to be myth. The angels are frightening, and the demons are hot. 

Thirty-nine was a fantastic year. I was married to the man I loved. I had a body that worked without creaking. My grandma, who raised me, was still healthy, and life was pretty damned good. But as they say, all good things come to an end. One year later, I’m a widow. My joints are starting to ache. Gram is in the nursing home, and dead people think my home is some kind of supernatural bed-and-breakfast. Gluing body parts onto semi-transparent people has become a side job - deceased people I’m not even sure are actually there.

After a Luke Skywalker/Darth Vader moment, I discovered I do indeed have a father. He comes with a hell of a lot of baggage, but I’ve decided to keep him. Not only do I have a father, I have a kick-ass new sister, a ghostly family, and super powers to boot. If you add to the mix that I’m dating the Grim Reaper, it’s a freakin’ party. The only thing standing in the way of my happiness is the Angel of Mercy, though Angel of Misery is more appropriate. She’s responsible for almost everyone I have loved, and who has loved me, being taken away.

Being 40 is supposed to be freaking fabulous, not fatal. Taking on a daunting new job minus the description isn’t the smartest move I’ve ever made, even if it was to save a friend. Hopefully, it doesn’t turn out to be the stupidest...or deadliest. Why can’t things stay the way they were? I love my old job. Supergluing ghosts back together and solving their issues is its own reward. Not to mention, I’m seriously good at it. Although, I must say, I’m ridiculously excited for the new Death Counselor’s arrival in nine months....

Wow. Who saw that coming? I know I didn’t. As you know, I’m the Red Raptor. Now that things have...changed, I’ve asked my friend Amy to help tell the story. No, seriously, she’s just a friend. I mean - I guess if it were up to me? But...no. Okay, so there’s a new threat - a bunch of punks called the Neon Knights. They’re causing mayhem, armed with some kind of plasma-photon-light weapons that I can’t even begin to understand, and as usual, I’ve gotta stop them. However, this time I’ve got help. That’s right, I formed my own superteam. One for the ages.