Welcome to a world where class is dead, decency’s been pegged into oblivion, and Britain’s answer to a burning skip fire is on a global rampage of tits, tech, and total fucking chaos in this special edition of 'The Crackhead' books by Stu Armstrong.

Meet Chanelle and Trevor, Smackeltown's most deranged power couple, who rise from benefits to billionaires by creating CumCoin — the world’s first crypto powered by lust, lies, and lube. With the help of mad billionaire Melon Tusk (a genius tech goblin with a sexbot fetish) and their army of degenerates, they go on a globe-hopping, clunge-thumping conquest from the high courts of Westminster to Ibiza’s most syphilitic sex yachts.

Enemies? Of course.

They face down posh wankers like Lord Archibald Fuckwit Cocklinton, smug Yanks like Ronald Rump, and every moralistic arsewipe who thinks pegging, public fingering, and political blackmail don't belong on the national curriculum.

But our heroes don’t back down. They party harder than Satan on speed, weaponise OnlyFans, fuck their way through the fabric of society, and turn every scandal into a profitable orgasm.

From launching CumCoin 3.0 at a Tesco-orgy in Smackeltown to replacing Britain’s currency with GashCoins, Trevor and Chanelle don’t just break the rules they snort them, fuck them, and livestream the chaos.

It’s obscene. It’s absurd. Billionaire Bastards is the filthiest, most unhinged satire since someone gave a cocaine-addicted sex robot a typewriter. It’s a love story. A revenge tale. A political thriller. A crypto crime-cumedy. A spiritual awakening. And a war cry for every gobshite who’s ever shouted “TAKE ME TO COURT THEN, DICKHEAD!”

Not for the faint-hearted. But perfect for the depraved.