Bill Schmalfeldt

THE BOTHERING OF CTHULHUAn Eldritch LampoonTHE STARS ARE RIGHT. CTHULHU IS NOT IN THE MOOD.For countless eons, the Great Old One has slumbered beneath the Pacific Ocean, dreaming unspeakable dreams of cosmic destruction, universal madness, and unusually affectionate female demon manatees...

THE DEAD ARENT TALKING. BUT THEY MAY BE BREATHING UNDERWATER.Max Payload is back, and this time the insurance business has gone completely off the deep end.After surviving a previous investigation in Dunwich, Max figures hes earned a quiet assignment, a decent bottle of rye, and reimbursement...

Some mysteries are better left unsolved. Some insurance claims are better left unpaid. Max Payload has had enough of murder. After a particularly unpleasant case involving five dead debutantes and an exceptionally ugly cat, the hard-boiled Boston private detective decides it’s time for a...

Megan Hamilton has a perfectly ordinary life.She works at a bookstore in Myrtle Beach, has a small circle of friends, and shares her apartment with Monty—a friendly black cat with three white hairs on his chest, an appetite for trouble, and absolutely no respect for personal property.Then one...

It’s January 2029. The voters voted. The states certified. The Electoral College met. Congress prepared to count the votes. Everything was proceeding exactly as the Founders intended. Donald Trump had other ideas. As America stumbles toward Inauguration Day, a President-elect demands answers...

What if the end of the world were postponed because the invading aliens got overbooked? What if artificial intelligence suddenly began answering every question exactly the way a cat would? What if Death quietly took a well-earned vacation…and nobody on Earth could die anymore? What if the...