Continue to have and grow your life, Mom—for your sake and your kids’.

When did being a good mom come to mean giving up everything that used to make you … you? That’s the question millions of 21st-century mothers grapple with every single day as they parent in our madly kid-centric culture. Contrary to the incessant messaging from everywhere, committing to yourself and your own needs is what makes for a good mother and happy kids.

With How to Have a Kid and a Life, popular journalist and Good Morning America parenting expert Ericka Sóuter shares her tips for being a happy, whole person while still being a great, and sometimes just good enough (which is plenty fine), parent. Sóuter blends her own stories of surviving the seismic challenges of parenthood with testimonials from stay-at-home and working moms; interviews with therapists and researchers; and findings from the latest studies on happiness, self-care, and parenthood. What she delivers is a wonderfully irreverent survival guide to motherhood, featuring:

• Advice on keeping your career on track while parenting

• Tips for handling clueless and unhelpful partners

• Taking back ownership of your body

• Creating a reliable village of support (even with moms you didn’t think you’d like)

• Staying connected with child-free friends

• What to do if you feel like you’re missing the “mom gene”